The Ice is Melting
by AprilBaby95
Summary: Pre-pilot to post-finale covering Bade's ever evolving relationship. It starts with some of their respective childhoods for background. Lots of cade friendship and some Jandre friendship included too.
1. He Wasn't Warm

**Chapter 1: He Wasn't Warm**

* * *

**"****He wasn't warm. ****Well, not to her. ********Well, not to us" -At The Ballet**

* * *

"Jadelyn, go play outside," Mr. West says, "I need to be on a conference call to Tokyo in ten minutes".

"But Daddy, it's cold out," Jade whines.

"Put on a jacket. I can't have you running around while I'm on the phone. This is a big deal, it could mean lots of money for the business," he replies starting to shut his office door.

Jade quickly sticks her little fingers between the doorframe and the door. "Can I go to the park? It's boring on the lawn".

Mr. West sighs, "What park? The one your mom takes you to all the time? Fine. Don't get into any trouble. Get going, Jadelyn".

The heavy wooden door closes this time. Jade swallows hard and walks into the mudroom. She pulls on a dark purple sweatshirt and ties on black sneakers.

When she leaves the house, she walks three blocks to the park. It's got a big play structure and she loves to play pretend there. Princess locked in a tower, pirate sailing on the high seas, ballerina on stage, strutting down the bridge like a model, pretending to fly when she jumps off the swings, _anything but house, that one's no fun_.

Jade wishes that Mommy was home and not at the grocery store. Then she would be snuggling in the basement whispering stories instead of outside.

It was foggy, like she was in a cloud. At first it was kind of fun to run in the mist. But it made its way through her clothes and left goosebumps on her skin.

Finally, she was at the park. No one else was there. It wasn't busy like when Mommy brought her on sunny days. Jade decides that _this is better because she won't have to push people out of her way_.

She climbs up to the platform.

"I'll be the evil witch," Jade says softly.

Her voices trails off when she realizes there's no one she can boss into being the princess and knight. _Whatever, she'll be the witch and they can be pretend. She won't need to explain to anyone that the horse doesn't talk, it neighs and princesses don't get bored waiting in towers, they pretend to sleep until she says so_.

Jade practices an evil cackle. It's really cold now but she presses on.

When it starts to rain, Jade freezes mid-threat to the princess. The sky opens up and rain pours hard. Her hair is soaked and turns a dark brown. She shivers and starts to walk down the stairs. It's slippery and she nearly misses a step before catching herself by grabbing on to the railing.

Jade jumps off the final step and pauses. _She can't go home, Daddy will still be on the phone and Mommy won't be back yet_. She huddles under the bridge to avoid some of the rain and thinks. _Mommy said to go to Mrs. Valentine's house in an emergency. This counts as an emergency, doesn't it?_

Thunder cracks and she decides it most definitely does. Jade takes off running to Cat's house. It's only on block from the park, and she's glad. The sky roars again and Jade tries to tell herself it's just God and the angels bowling like Mommy told her. It hard to believe though when Daddy rolled his eyes and started to interrupt until Mommy shushed him. Jade slips in a puddle and drenches her pant leg, which gets coated in mud.

Finally she reaches the Valentines' house. Jade pushes the bell hurriedly and only remembers later that Cat's brother might be sleeping.

Mrs. Valentine opens the door and looks down on her in surprise. "What are you doing here Jade?" she asks.

The thunder rumbles again and Jade jumps, her face paling slightly.

"Well, never mind. Come in from the cold," she instructs tugging on Jade's arm.

Jade stands in the foyer, sopping wet. She's dripping all over the tile and her face goes slightly red.

"Jade?" Mrs. Valentine asks, tipping Jade's head up with her finger.

Jade looks at her and bites her lip. "Mommy went to the store," she starts.

Mrs. Valentine nods in encouragement.

"And Daddy said to go play outside. But then it started raining, and I got scared," she says sheepishly.

"Oh, Jade. It's okay. I'm glad you came here," Mrs. Valentine says, stopping herself from berating the man who would let a six year old out alone.

"Go upstairs. Cat's in her room. I'm sure she'll be glad to see you. You can change into her clothes and eat dinner here. I'll call your parents," she says looking at the poor child.

"Not Daddy. He's on a business call. Call Mommy," Jade instructs, starting up the stairs.

Partway up she stops, "What's for dinner?"

"Spaghetti sound okay?"

Jade just grins, spaghetti is her favorite and Mrs. Valentines knows it.

Jade stomps up the rest of the stairs and flings open the door to Cat's room.

Cat is her very best friend. One of her only two friends actually, besides Andre. They met in preschool, and Jade can't think of a time without her.

"Jadey," Cat squeals rolling off her bed. She hurries to hug her and then pauses, "You're all wet".

"Duh," Jade replies pushing her away, "I need clothes".

Cat just giggles and throws open the doors to her closet. Jade grabs a pair of leggings and an oversized shirt. _Cat is so stinking tiny this is all that will probably fit her_. She changes quickly into the black pants and long red top. She turns to show Cat and get her opinion only to be blindsided by Cat body slamming her and hugging her tight.

"No," Jade says trying to pull Cat's arms off her, "We talked about this Cat".

When this has no effect, she starts to count and Cat's arms slip off her quickly.

Cat's pouting and Jade can't stand it, "What did I tell you?" she prompts.

"No hugging, unless you do it first," Cat says frowning, "but Jadey".

"Exactly," Jade answers.

Jade presses her lips together and then slings her arm around Cat's shoulders.

"Time for spaghetti," she says walking them towards the stairs.

A smile has bloomed on Cat's face and she starts to bounce with this news, "That's my favorite," she says happily, "yours too".

Jade nods and tugs Cat along faster.

When they get to the kitchen, Mrs. Valentine scoops up Cat and kisses her face before reminding her to go wash her hands.

She then turns to Jade and lifts her up onto the counter.

"All better, huh?" she says using a towel to dry Jade's hair and then pulling it up into a ponytail.

Jades nods, swinging her legs.

Mrs. Valentine sets her down, "Hands," she reminds her.

After washing their hands the girls take their seats at the table. It's covered with plates, spaghetti, salad, dressings, bread, and drinks. Theirs have curly straws, Jade's is purple and Cat's is pink. Jade moves to grab a roll, forgetting at this house they say grace. Cat elbows her and Jade remembers. She bows her head and folds her hands together.

Dinner at Cat's house is always loud. Louder than at home anyway. Mr. and Mrs. Valentine ask about each other's day and joke with Cat. Her brother is eight and kind of crazy. Sometimes Cat's Nona is there too. Jade wonders if her home would be as happy if they prayed before eating. Their dinners were usually silent. Her dad thought, "children should be seen and not heard". But when he was away for business, her mom would order pizza and they would laugh and talk at the table.

Jade is sprawled out on the floor beside Cat after dinner. She's on her tummy with her head in her hands. They are watching the Wizard of Oz and Cat's admiring Glinda's dress while Jade's rolling her eyes and waiting for the flying monkeys. The doorbell rings but they both ignore it. Then Jade hears her mom's voice. Dorothy just met the tin man but Jade jumps up anyway. Cat's her shadow and follows her into the foyer.

"Mommy," Jade shrieks reaching up.

Her mom picks her up and kisses her cheek. "I heard you were out in the rain, monkey," she says stroking Jade's hair. Jade nods clinging to her tightly.

"Thanks for keeping her, Patricia" her mom tells Mrs. Valentine, "I hope she wasn't too much trouble".

"Moi?" Jade mouths with a giggle.

"She was fine. The girls had fun," Mrs. Valentine answers.

"Nice clothes, silly girl," her mom says, "Time to go home".

"But we were going to have ice cream for dessert," Jade says crossly.

"You can have some at home. You've been here long enough Jadelyn," is her mom's stern reply.

"It's really no problem Shannon," Mrs. Valentine says.

With that Jade is wriggling down and following Cat into the kitchen.

Mr. Valentine dishes up the ice cream. Red Velvet Chocolate Chunk for both of them and a bowl of Funky Nut Blast for her brother. Mr. Valentine and Frankie go in another room to eat it leaving the girls in the kitchen.

Cat is going on and on about Mr. Purple's adventure to the zoo or something. Jade's tuned her out and is listening to the mom's conversation in the hallway. She can't hear all of it but it sounds like they are both pretty mad at her dad.

When the girls finish they climb on a step stool and set the bowls in the sink.

Cat smiles at her and says, "I'm glad you came over Jadey".

Jade isn't fond of the nickname but she has like a million so she ignores it. Instead she hugs Cat for a brief tight squeeze and then goes back to the parents. Jade hates to be touched, can't stand it, but she's usually okay if she initiates it.

Jade's mom is holding a bag with her wet clothes and motions for Jade to go to the car.

She falls asleep on the way home and wakes up in her Mom's arms as they walk up the stairs. Her mom makes sure Jade brushes her teeth and changes into her midnight blue pajamas. Then she takes Jade's hair down and brushes it out while singing Mambo No. 5. It's on the radio all the time and Jade sings along too. Her mom scoops her up and dances her around the bedroom laughing.

Then the door opens to reveal her dad. They both stop.

"Very nice," he says stiffly, "as long as it's just for play. You will never make a career out of that Jadelyn".

_He calls her Jadelyn all the time_. Every else just uses it when she's in trouble, then again she always seems to be in trouble with him.

Her dad bends slightly and offers her his cheek. Jade brushes her lips against his face and pulls back.

"Good night," he says exiting and closing the door.

Jade looks slightly bewildered, even though this happens every night. Her mom picks her up and tosses her lightly on to the bed.

"What story tonight?" she asks cuddling up to Jade.

Jade scoots away and snuggles a blanket up to her face.

"The next chapter of Little House in the Big Woods," Jade says like the question is stupid.

She just got the books for her birthday and they're pretty good. Her mom was right to ask though because sometimes Jade isn't in the mood for calico dresses and maple syrup parties.

She's asleep halfway through the third chapter of the night. Her mom presses a kiss to Jade's forehead and tucks her. She clicks off the light; Jade's never been scared of the dark, and closes the door.

* * *

**A/N: So that was the first chapter. The story will go over Jade's childhood and Beck's briefly until they meet. Then it'll cover from pre-pilot to post-finale. Expect lots of Bade with some Cade friendship, but all the gang will be included. Please let me know what you think. Thanks. **


	2. Except Each Other

**Chapter 2: Except Each Other**

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**"****I don't know what they were for or against, really, ****except each other. ****I mean I was born to save their marriage ****but when my father came to pick my mother up ****at the hospital ****he said, "Well, I thought this was going to help, ****but I guess it's not..." -At the Ballet**

* * *

Jade frowned. Her parents were fighting again. They were yelling so loud she couldn't hear the Spice Girls CD. She wasn't really fond of the band anyway but Cat had given her the CD for her 7th birthday and she was _trying_ to be nice. Or at least be able to tell Cat _why_ the CD was _stupid_.

The next song starts playing, "I'm giving you everything, all that joy can bring this I swear (yes I swear) and all that I want from you (all I want from you) is a promise you will be there". Jade hears snippets of the lyrics crescendo-ing and mixing with their yelling.

"All I want is for you to be here for me and Jade, Jack. It's not fair that she isn't happy" her mom and "I'm giving you everything, Shannon. A roof over your heads, nice clothes, new toys, I need to work" her dad, echo off the walls.

It's all too much and Jade stops the cassette. She gulps back tears because _Daddy says crying is for babies_. She _hates when they fight, hates that her mom will end up crying, hates that she really likes the toys from her Dad that make him work, hates that she can't fix this, hates that her Dad is probably going to forget her good night kiss now, she just really hates everything_. _Including the stupid cassette tape_ that she rips out of the player.

She wishes she could go to Andre's house but it's been crazy since all his cousins were staying there for the month.

Cat's house isn't an option either. Cat's parents have been fighting nearly as bad as her own. At least if she was at Cat's house, she wouldn't be listening to her own family fall apart, it would be someone else's. But Cat wasn't just anybody else, she _hated _when Cat was upset. Yet, at least they would be together, and that was always better. Cat drove her crazy, but she was Jade's very best friend. They were happier together than apart.

Cat's parents were upset about her brother. Her dad wants Frankie to go away to a special hospital. He thinks he's getting too big to control and might hurt Cat on accident. Cat's mom wants him to stay home, where he belongs, and says she'll watch him all the time. Cat's told her that she's scared of getting "an owie" but wants her brother to stay there.

At Cat's house they'd probably be stuck huddled under her bed with an absurd amount of blankets. Cat's fond of small spaces and cuddling when she's upset.

Jade can picture her wrapped in a pink blanket with her hands clasped over her ears rocking back and forth and clutching Mr. Purple, her giraffe. It should make her happy, she's always enjoyed other's pain. But instead she just feels sad. She's only seven but she knows that families aren't supposed to be like this.

Andre has the best luck. He lives with his Grandma and has a handful of half-siblings who live in the area. His Grandma is really nice, she bakes cookies and watches the shows they put on. But even he doesn't have the mom and dad family like everyone else in their classes. They're the misfits, the ones whose parents miss teacher conferences and school plays. Jade's dad is working, Andre's grandma sometimes forgets, and Cat's parents usually are at home dealing with her brother. So it's the three of them who sit by themselves after shows with no one to hug or congratulate them. Jade's mom comes occasionally and smothers them all, but most of the times she's working. See, her dad pays for Jade's clothes, food, toys, and such but not all her mom's. She needs to "show she isn't a gold digger" or whatever.

The yelling has calming down slightly. Jade grabs the dumb cassette and starts yanking out the tape. Pulling and pulling in anger, her family is broken, so now the tape can be too.

Then she takes out a pair of black scissors. They are her favorite school supplies, the one thing her dad forgot buy in barf pink. So her mom had gone and gotten them so she wouldn't be the only kid in 2nd grade without scissors. Black was Jade's favorite color, and her mom knew it. Jade cuts the brown stringy tape into tiny little pieces. Cutting things up is her favorite part of art class and it means she needs to focus. So she focuses on getting the tape into minuscule pieces instead of her parents' voices.

When the tape is nearly gone, the voices stop. The front door slams and Jade goes to look out her bedroom window. She watches her dad pull away, no goodnight kiss. Then she quickly finishes cutting. Steps sound muffled on the stairs and Jade knows her mom will be in soon. So she sweeps the mess into the garbage and put the scissors back in the drawer, she isn't supposed to use them without adult supervision anyway.

Her mom's eyes are red but she doesn't say anything. She just gathers Jade up in her arms and hugs her tight. Jade's face is pushed into her shoulder and Jade isn't very happy about neither the position nor the proximity. She figures her mom needs the hug though and reluctantly wraps her arms around her.

"It's gonna be okay," her mom whispers in a hoarse voice.

And Jade wants to believe her so desperately.

"I don't know what I'd do without you kiddo," she says pressing a kiss into Jade's hair.

Jade squirms out of her mother's stronghold.

"What do you mean?" she insists standing up on her bony knees in her mom's lap, "I'm not going anywhere. You're not going anywhere?" Jade falters.

She stares into her mom's eyes as if that will tell her the truth, "You're not going anywhere right mommy?" Jade repeats anxiously. "We are always going to be together. You and me and Daddy. Right here," she begs. Jade isn't fond of her father all the time but it's the only family she's got.

Her mom shakes her head and stands up. "Yes, always monkey. You and me," she says situating Jade on her hip.

"And Daddy" Jade reminds her sternly.

"Mmmh," her mom murmurs looking away.

She wasn't sure about either promise really. Custody battles could get ugly if it came to that. She hoped they could repair their marriage though.

"Let's get ready for bed kiddo. Want the purple pjs with the cheetah print? Then let's do teeth and get to bed".

They race through the bedtime routine and are done by 9:00. Past Jade's usual bedtime but the fight derailed that.

"Story," Jade declares hopping up onto her bed.

It's been upgraded to a queen for the "princess" her dad had told her. It was one of those rare nice moments with him. So she didn't complain that she kind of had liked being squished against her mom as the had tried to fit into the twin bed for story time.

They were in the middle of reading _Charlotte's Web_ for the second time, Jade was oddly fascinated with the spider. But they were almost at the part where she dies and Jade wasn't in the mood for any more icky sad feelings. So instead she pulls out _Matilda_. A great story with magic, an evil principal, reading, and a happy ending. The best part is Matilda does that all on her own and trades her horrible parents for Ms. Honey.

Jade climbs under the covers and pulls them open to offer her mom some room.

Her mom takes the book, "No Charlotte tonight?" she asks.

Jade shakes her head. The book's cracked open and Jade moves in resting her head on her mom's arm under the guise of looking at the pages.

Her mom start to read softly then pauses, "Do you ever wish you had different parents Jade?"

"No mommy, of course not," she answers pointing impatiently to the next line.

Jade hasn't ever really thought about it though. And for the next couple pages she lets her mind drift. Maybe a different dad wouldn't be so bad, and her very same mom except one who didn't give in as much.

Jade yawned and lazily traced shapes on her mom's arm. Shannon knew if she mentioned it Jade would stop so she just kept reading.

"Will you sleep in here tonight Mommy?" Jade interrupts.

Shannon freezes, she's caught off guard, Jade hasn't slept with her since she was four and scared of storms. If Jack came home tonight he certainly wouldn't be pleased to find her here.

"Please?" Jade adds when there's no response.

"Ohh-oooh-kay" she finally stammers out before finishing the chapter.

"Sweet dreams kiddo," she says kissing Jade's forehead and sliding out of bed.

"But you promised," Jade whines sitting up.

"I know," she answers pushing Jade's little shoulders back against the pillow. "I need to change first, I'll be back. Go to bed".

Jade closes her eyes but peeks once her mom's out the door. It isn't until she feels the weight on the bed shift that Jade really tries to fall asleep. It takes a while and she cuddles up into her mom but eventually she's out.

Jade wakes up later to the slight shaking of the bed and sniffles of her mom. It's rather clear that she's crying even though her back is turned to Jade.

Jade isn't sure what to do. She's never been fond of people when they cry, or even in general really. She knows how to shut Cat up, with the promise of a new stuffed animal or ice cream from Freezy Queen. She doesn't think either of those things will help her mom. Jade on the other hand rarely cries, her dad really doesn't like it. So, the only option is cuddling, the other way she calms Cat.

Jade shyly touches her mom's shoulder.

"I'm fine Jade, go back to bed," the lump of covers says without facing her.

Jade bites her lip. She might be mean, maybe bossy, but she's always honest. So it's hard for her to force out the lie.

It tumbles out in one breath, "but Mommy, I had a bad dream. I need a hug".

Jade even pouts at the end, though her mom can't see. _I'm an excellent actress_, she decides.

Sure enough, her mom flips over and tugs Jade into her arms.

"You're alright now. Mommy's here. I've got you," she coos.

It makes Jade want to barf. She's not a baby and she isn't scared of anything. But she remains silent.

Her mom rocks them back and forth and Jade can tell her tears are slowing.

Jade twists away and whispers, "I love you", before scooting to make space between them.

* * *

In the morning, her bed is empty. Jade gets dressed and ready before reluctantly heading downstairs.

Her dad is sitting at the table with the LA Times business section and a cup of coffee. Her mother is sitting at the opposite end with the entertainment section and a cup of tea. Jade moves to take her seat in the middle. The cook places a plate of pancakes and bacon in front of her father and fruit in front of her mother.

"Can I get a pancake too?" her mom asks.

"Better watch that figure, Shannon," her father says without looking up.

Jade gets a plate of fruit and pancakes with a glass of apple juice. Her father finally puts down the paper and takes a bite. Then he looks at her critically.

Apparently, her outfit was acceptable and he says "Good morning Jadelyn," before raising his paper again.

"Good morning Daddy, good morning Mommy," Jade parrots taking a bite.

The rest of the meal is eaten in silence. Jade knows she shouldn't be surprised, but the way they ignore everything that happened last night upsets her. Finally, they finish and Jade grabs her dark blue backpack before hurrying out the door.

* * *

She clambers onto the yellow bus and takes a seat next to Andre. Cat is always late and nearly always ends up being driven to school.

"Hey Dre," she says sliding into the seat.

"Hey J," he answers back.

Jade let's her head slip onto his shoulder and closes her eyes. She's so tired from last night.

Jade likes that the two of them can just sit in silence. _It's nice sometimes without the chatterbox, Cat_.

Andre nudges her when they get to school and Jade grabs her things.

They start walking into school when Cat bursts between them. She wraps her arms around both their shoulders and giggles, "I missed you guys".

"What's up Kit Kat," Andre teases lightly. Jade pushes her off gently. Cat just giggles some more, "Well, my brother…" she starts as they walk into school.

_But it's best with all three of them._

* * *

**A/N: Once again, please let me know what you think. The next chapter will either be about Beck and Moose or Jade, Cat, and Andre. Opinions? Thanks for reading! **


	3. The Calgary Flames and the Arts

**Chapter 3: The Calgary Flames and the Arts**

* * *

**Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Play. HOCKEY.**

* * *

"Beck," Elizabeth whispered pushing open her son's door.

She made her way gingerly across his bedroom floor. Toys were strewn everywhere, hockey sticks, a pirate costume, cars and more covered the carpet. She nearly trips and over a pair of sneakers and scoops them up setting them on his dresser.

"Beck," she coos, sweeping his dark hair away from his forehead and pressing a kiss.

"Rise and shine, it's time to get up buddy," Elizabeth chimed, nudging him before moving to open the blinds.

The light streams in and Beck rolls over pressing his face into the pillow.

"Darling," she laughs, starting to tickle his ribs.

Finally, Beck laughs, "I was sleeping, Mommy," he says sitting up with a smile.

"I know sweet boy but it's time to get up for school. We're having pancakes for breakfast," she answered standing up.

"Get dressed and brush your teeth. Then come down stairs," Elizabeth instructs leaving his room.

Beck nods and hurriedly gets ready. He takes extra time to spike up his hair with gel.

Afterward, he comes down stairs to eat chocolate chip pancakes with his parents. Their table is filled with laughter and conversation before his dad leaves for work. His mom hands him a Spiderman lunchbox and watches him walk to the yellow bus at the end of their driveway.

* * *

Beck gets on the bus and sits next to his best friend Moose.

"It's Friday," Moose greets him excitedly.

Moose has been his best friend since feeferdoon last year. His dad was a famous hockey player for the Flames. Beck was excited because his dad was taking them to the game in Calgary tonight.

Hockey was one of Beck's favorite things. He wasn't the biggest kid on the ice, by far. But he was fast and very good at scoring goals. Moose was on defense, he wasn't afraid to get violent. Beck wasn't sure if he liked hockey so much because it was fun or because his dad was a major fan. He'd basically been cheering for the Flames since he was born.

Beck's other favorite thing was to act out stories, in a way that was much more methodical than pretend. His mom was very big on the arts. She was from England originally and he's always been jealous of her English accent. But it also meant that Beck has seen more Shakespeare plays than probably any other six year old. He's always been a fond of both.

In class today, the students are meeting with parent volunteers and writing short stories together. Beck knows his dad will be annoyed if he write about plays, but there's only so many times he can retell scoring a goal in hockey. His dad thinks the arts are a waste of time and that he should focus more on hockey so he can get a scholarship and go to college. College in a long, long, time from now, so Beck doesn't understand why it matters now. His mom likes watching him act, though she'd never defy his dad.

So Beck tells a story about going fishing last month. His dad will approve, even if Beck doesn't really like ice fishing. It's cold and boring crouching on the ice or sitting in the tent playing go fish with Moose. The story's pretty good anyway, he thinks. Beck likes fishing in the summer better. He just wants the day to end so they can go to the game.

* * *

Finally, they are in the car to the game. Beck is trying to explain Charlotte's Web to Moose. His mom took him to see it last weekend.

"The spider can write words in her web," he whispers.

His dad has the radio on to the pre-game sports station, and turns it up.

"She's trying to do it so they don't eat Wilbur," he explains.

His dad bumps the radio up another notch.

"Then they go to the county fair. It sounded so fun," Beck exclaimed.

His dad glares at him through the review mirror and Beck stops talking.

Moose seems fine with this and asks, "Mr. Oliver, what do you think of the Flames' season so far?"

Beck joins in the conversation, it's hard not to talk about his favorite sport. But he's still kind of mad.

* * *

At the game, they have seats right on the ice. Beck presses his face against the glass and watches the puck whiz by. His dad gets a beer for himself and popcorn for the boys. Moose and Beck cheer when the Flames score and heckle the other team when a player ends up in the penalty box. They cram handfuls of popcorn in their mouths and pound on the glass to distract the Capitals' players.

When the Flames win, Nicholas swings Beck onto his shoulders. Beck locks his legs around his dad's neck and claps loudly.

They get to meet the players afterwards. His dad ruffles his hair and proudly introduces Beck as his son. Beck would do just about anything to keep this happy feeling he has right now.

Moose's dad is taking Moose home after thanking Nicholas for bringing him. So it's just Beck and his dad walking back to the car.

"This was awesome dad. They can all skate so fast," he says holding his father's hand as they cross the street.

"What'd you think of the fight, bud?" his dad asked.

Beck remembers his dad cheering loudly, "It was pretty cool," he answers with a grin.

"Wicked cool," his dad responds racing him to the car.

They listen to the post-game commentary on the way home. Beck stares out the window at the fading city lights. He listens to his dad agreeing with the announcers and feels his eyelids getting heavier. Until finally, he falls asleep in his booster seat.

* * *

**A/N: So, first of all I have basically no knowledge on Canada and hockey besides what I researched for this chapter. My apologies if something is wrong. Second, I found this chapter much more difficult to write than Jade's, I'm sorry for the wait. Please let me know what you think. The next chapter will be back in L.A. **


	4. Those Tiniest Pieces

**Chapter 4: Those Tiniest Pieces**

Jade is turning eight in less than a week. She loves her birthday and the loads of presents she always gets. She is also fond of her chocolate birthday cake. She'd rather just have Andre and Cat over, maybe Robbie cause he was Cat's new friend and Cat would whine otherwise. But her parents insisted the whole class should be invited. Today wasn't about her and her upcoming party though. Her dad's birthday was 5 days before hers. When he was in a good mood, he'd tell her _she was the best belated birthday present he ever got_. When he wasn't, well, then it was more along the lines of _I thought you'd help our marriage, but I guess not_.

So she was wearing a stupid frilly pink dress that matched her mom's. _Jade, it's his birthday, please just put it on_, she'd asked, _I'm not fond of it either._ Her hair was in loose curls and tied half up in a satin bow, her shoes were patent leather white. Another dumb idea on her dad's part, _they'd be scuffed up before she got to the restaurant_.

Jade wasn't supposed to be loud or make a mess. So she was sitting on her bed impatiently. The door opened and her father breezed in from work.

"You look pretty Jade," he said, "here's an early birthday present".

He thrusts a bag in front of her face. Inside the bag is a present. It's white with pink roses on the wrapping paper and a large bow.

"Thank you Daddy," she says, knowing that's what's expected. She's kind of shocked he called her Jade.

He nods, "Yes Mariana did a nice job on the wrapping," he remarks to himself.

Mariana is the secretary at his work. Jade's a bit disappointed to find out he hadn't wrapped it himself, but at least he bought her a gift.

She sets it down on her desk and moves to take his hand, "It's time to go for your birthday dinner, right?" she says.

"When someone gives you a present you open it, right away, Jadelyn. That's what's polite," he instructs pulling his hand away.

Jade inches away from him and grabs the package. She sits on the bed and carefully removes the bow, slowly peels off the tape, and then gently folds back the wrapping paper. Usually she tears into presents, ripping the paper to shreds, but she's angry now and wants to frustrate him. It's working.

"Hurry up, we have reservations," he gripes.

Jade yanks off the box lid to reveal an American Girl doll.

"Thank you," she says softly.

He actually tried this year. The doll is named Lindsey and she's the doll of the year. Jade knows because most of her classmates, Cat included, have been babbling about her since it came out. The doll is the "it gift" of the year and she's sure to make a big splash with it in school. Never mind, the fact that she's never really liked dolls, except the one she gave vampire fangs to, and could care less what the other kids at school think.

He points to a smaller box that was wrapped alongside it. She rips the paper quickly to keep him happy and tears off the lid. It's another outfit for the doll, a pink dress with a white sash, white tights, and the palest pink shoes. The outfit is nearly an exact match to what she's wearing. Jade isn't sure what to say, it's clear her dad has no understanding of her as a person, but then again, the same gift would have sent Cat over the moon. So maybe it's her fault.

Luckily, her dad takes the silence for astonishment. He's patting himself on the back and tells her to change the doll's clothing and bring it along. He then leaves to change out of his work clothes.

As Jade strips off the dolls clothes, tugs up tights, wiggles on shoes, and so on, she laughs. In the doll's story she was in trouble all the time, just like Jade. Clearly, her dad hadn't known that. The doll is nothing like the gift she would have chosen, she wanted a black and silver bracelet or new black combat boots. Poltergeist, The Birds, Beetlejuice, The Bride of Frankenstein, and a handful of other movies would have also sufficed. The titles she had mostly glimpsed on TV before her parents changed the channel, but they seemed scary.

When doll was changed, Jade had even cut one of her ribbons to tie in its short hair, she went down the hall. Jade stopped short outside her parents' room. They were fighting again. They fought all the time really. She frowned and stomped back into her room. She tossed the new doll away and grabbed a teddy bear she'd had since she was a baby. Jade scooted into the corner and curled up around the bear. Her head rested on her knees and she was trying not to cry. Finally, she sniffed and stood up. She was ready to demand that her parents stop fighting and go to dinner. Before she could make it across the room, her mom had come in and grabbed her by her upper arm. Jade snagged the doll and stumbled as she was dragged down the hall and then the stairs. Her mother paused, straightened Jade's dress and then pushed her out the door. They got into the car with her father and drove to the restaurant in silence.

* * *

Jade ordered the penne with shrimp and set the doll on the chair next to her. Her mother sat on the other side and her father across from her. Her mom ordered a salmon dish and her dad got the lobster. Her father then ordered a glass of red wine for himself, white for her mom, and milk for her.

Jade frowned, "water," she corrected. Her dad shot her a look, but Jade was way beyond caring.

"Milk is gross. Who wants to drink milk that a dirty farmer squeezed out of his cow," she said scrunching up her face in disgust.

"Jadelyn," he reprimanded, nodding to the server to bring the water, "Thank you for that lovely visual".

"You're welcome," she sassed back, "I've hated gross cow juice for the past four years daddy".

They sit in silence and relative peace until the entrees arrive. The waiter walk away and Jade's fuming.

"Daddy, the tails are still on my shrimp," she hisses.

"Just eat it Jade," he says rolling his eyes.

She squishes up her face and reaches in her hand to pick one up. She squeezes off the tail and drops the shrimp back in the bowl. She picks up the next one and realizes this is ridiculous, she hates picking the tails off. The chef should have done it, or maybe her dad but not her. So she flips the plate over crossly letting the sauce seep into the ugly yellow tablecloth. It'll probably stain and she's really getting a bit old for this behavior. But it's a surefire way to get her dad's attention.

"Jadelyn," he yells upon realizing what she's done. He apologizes to the waiter and frowns at her.

She's got his attention now, she thinks with a gulp, maybe that's not the best thing. Her dad cares way too much about appearances though. So he doesn't blow up even though he wants too. They both have temper issues. Instead he motions to the waiter and whispers something. Suddenly, Jade has part of his lobster on her plate. _Maybe this tantrum was a good plan_, she thinks.

Until the waiter comes over with a bib, "No, no, no," she snaps, "I'm seven, _nearly eight_. In five days. I'm not a baby. Only babies wear bibs".

Her dad snatches the bib and ties it around her neck, "Eat quietly and I'll buy you dessert," he whisper bribes her.

So she pouts, a plastic bib over her stupid pink dress and eats the lobster. At the end of the meal, the waiter brings a sundae out for her dad with a candle on top and they sing to him. Her mom catches her eye and they harmonize. So Jade has a small smile on her face when her chocolate fudge lava cake arrives, until the smell mixes with her leftover lobster. She hates when waiters bring dessert before clearing the dishes. She quickly shoves the lobster shell plate at the waiter. Finally, she cuts into the cake and takes a big bite. It's yummy, the perfect balance of chocolate and warm. Her mother steals a bite and runs her fingers through Jade's light brown hair.

"Your mother and I need to talk to you Jade," her father says briskly, pushing away his sundae.

Jade's been shoving cake into her mouth for the past few minutes, so she just nods and swallows. His eyes go soft and he looks like he really cares. The daddy she had when she was three and his business hadn't taken off yet. The one who would dance her around the living room and play pony. The man who cared more about her than the next big corporate deal. Someone she had trusted until he'd messed up too many times to forgive.

"It's," his voice breaks and he looks down. When he meets her eyes again his face is steeled.

"Don't do this here," her mom says softly, "wait a few weeks, until after her birthday".

Jack shakes his head, "It's gone on long enough Shannon. Do you really think we could wait and pretend that long".

Jade wonders if she's getting a sibling. Her dad wants a boy but her mom doesn't want any more kids. Jade hadn't decided whether it will be a playmate or an annoyance.

"Your mother and I," he starts seriously.

Jade wiggles in anticipation, she's all for this baby now. Someone to play with or boss around when she's bored.

"are getting a divorce".

Jade freezes and tries to readjust her thinking. This isn't what she was expecting to hear. She couldn't think, a hand felt like it was grasped around her throat, she couldn't talk. She could barely breath. Her vision was swimming.

"I think she's having a panic attack," her mom's voice swirled.

She was suddenly sitting on her father's lap staring into his eyes.

"Nice slow deep breaths Jadelyn," he said and she tried to do as she was told.

"In and out, in and out," he said holding her head so she could only look up at him.

Eventually, her breathing calmed and her heart stopped racing. She was plopped back into her seat. Both parents looked at her with mild concern. Jade hesitated thinking maybe she should play weak and get them to forget this whole idea. Then she decides that she's never a damsel and speaks up.

"What the hell? You guys have fought for years. It's always the same thing. You both blow up then mom says sorry and dad brings her a present. That's how it goes," she rants, her facing starting to turn red, "You don't get to just change the game all of a sudden. There are rules. People made promises".

"Jade," her mother says trying to placate her, "I know this is sad and scary. But it'll be okay, it's for the best you'll see".

Jade sighs in frustration and then pauses, "Is it…Is this my fault? Daddy, I'm so sorry about dinner. And the way I acted. I'll eat the shrimp with tails from now on. I won't spill or yell or talk back. I'll be good, I promise. Just please don't go," she whimpers.

Jack meets Shannon's eyes briefly. Then he scoops up Jade and walks out of the restaurant. Shannon is paying with his card.

Jack makes it to the bench outside with a squirming Jade in his grasp. He sets her down and looks her in the eyes. Her dress is stained with chocolate sauce, her hair is a flyaway mess. Yet Jade looks up at him with bloodshot blue eyes and all he feels is guilt. On a normal day, her appearance would be reason enough for a lecture. Today he just picks her up and cuddles her.

"It's not your fault pumpkin. I swear. You didn't do anything to make this happen. You make a lot of mistakes but this wasn't one of them. This is how it's going to be now. You are still going to stay in your house, in your room. But just with mommy. I'm moving into an apartment in the city. But you'll have your own room there too. How about purple, huh bud?" he whispers.

A ghost of a smile crosses Jade's face before she starts to whimper again.

"I wanna stay with you and Mommy," she nearly sobs, "please".

Jack rubs her back. He feels sorry for her getting caught up in the middle of this. He can still remember the first time he saw those bright blue eyes, slipping out of bed to watch her sleep, chasing a toddler as she learned to walk, finger painting with a round cheeked three year old. Then the memories spread out, become dispersed less frequently as she ages. He only images it'll get worse with the divorce. Jack clutches Jade tightly and rocks her. Finally, Jade falls asleep.

* * *

She wakes up in her bed, all tucked in. She wants to pretend this was a bad dream. But the chocolate stain on her clothes tells her otherwise.

"Daddy, mommy," she shrieks. It's dark and lonesome in her room.

"Daddy," she yells again before sprinting across the carpet and into the hallway.

Jade opens the door to her parent's room reluctantly. She knows she's not supposed to go in there.

"Mommy," she whispers sticking her head in. With no response, Jade steps into the room.

"Daddy," she calls out flipping on the lights.

Nobody is in their bed, she's alone. They've both left her. So she decides its okay to fall apart. She sinks to the floor wrapping her arms around her legs, drawing her knees up to her chest, and resting her head on her lap. Then hiding her face, she lets herself cry.

When she finally stops her tears, Jade peeks at the clock. It's nearly one a.m. and she doesn't want to spend the night alone. She debates on calling Cat. _It's late though and Cat won't sneak out_. She's a goody two shoes and Jade hasn't finished corrupting her yet. _She might end up consoling Cat if she tells her about this. Also, Cat still believes that red velvet cupcakes and cuddles can solve any problem._ _Jade isn't indulgent with her usually, but she doesn't want to be the one to prove Cat wrong. Andre might come over. But she doesn't want to get him in trouble. His grandma was starting to get worse mentally and she'd probably flip out if she found him missing._ _Plus, how good at comforting could an eight-year-old boy be?_

Jade creeps down the stair and quickly hits the light switch. Her house is illuminated and Jade stalks from room to room in search of her parents. She finally finds her mother in the library.

"Mom," she says irritated, "Where's Daddy? It's time for normal people to be sleeping you know".

"Oh, Jade," her mom says turning away from the window. Her face is blanketed in moonlight that highlights her tears.

"Don't 'oh jade' me," the little girl hisses grabbing her arm and tugging, "come on".

Shannon looks down at her stubborn daughter. Jade is so much more like Jack than she thinks. Quick to anger, likely to brood and keep feelings to herself, no tears but apt to whine, bossy, private and sometimes even cold. But like him she had a smile that you had to work for, a laugh that made others grin, walls that revealed a magnificent, silly, charming little girl when they fell down.

That's part of the reason she fell in love with Jack. When he let her see him, without any guard up, she felt special. It meant he trusted her and the man when exposed was warm and loving. The problem was that she had thought the walls were gone.

Work pulled him away, but at first he made sure he came home early. Slowly the stonier persona started to follow him home from work. He'd need her kiss and Jade's giggles for an hour before it wore off, then a few hours, then a few more. He had started to crack down on Jade's childish antics. Soon she only _really_ saw _him_ on weekends. As the business really became popular Jack started working even then. Slowly the man she'd married pulled away. The walls came back up before she realized it. Glimpses showed through their cracks on rare occasions. It wasn't working for them anymore.

* * *

Jack was sitting in his car outside a hotel. He was trying to figure out when their life fell apart. The two girls in his life had stopped laughing, stopped smiling around him. As a toddler, Jade was very much a daddy's girl.

Her love of art and music came from her mother, as did her natural wavy hair. But Shannon had sun streaked blond hair and hazel eyes that were mostly green. She could also lay claim to Jade's full lips and tiny ears. Maybe even the fact that Jade was sometimes sweet but there was no doubt whose genes were dominant.

She really took after him. Jade had his brown hair, though hers was a shade lighter. Her eyes were a bright blue that usually matched his own. On occasion he had seen them look grey or green. Her prominent check bones and the shape of her chin matched his. She was serious, had a wicked temper, and though she wasn't shy about expressing her opinion, her feelings were a different story. She loved to read and was incredibly smart. She mimicked him in several ways.

As a baby, Jade had been able to bribe him into tea parties and going to the park. When she was a bit older, in pre-school, he'd quit his job and started him own company. It had always been his dream and Shan had agreed with him that this was a good time. Jade didn't need such constant attention. She'd assured him that she knew he would need to work longer hours but they could handle it. Really they both had unrealistic expectations on how much work it took to start a business from scratch. Jade's handmade art projects and little songs were no longer given to him because he wasn't there. Shannon was angry that he didn't have as much time for his family. His co-partner in the business, who really owned 65% didn't think he was invested enough. At home all they seemed to do was arguing. It wasn't healthy for Jade and it wasn't enjoyable. So he worked harder at the office so he could at least please one person.

His responsibility was to his family, she'd argue. Well, yes, and that's why he had to work, to provide for them. If the company fell flat on its face they'd be broke. So much of their own money was invested in this project, they'd mortgaged the house. His priorities had changed. Shannon claimed he was shutting her out. It was really so she couldn't see how bad the finances were doing. When the company was finally in the red, making money, things had changed. He couldn't believe she hadn't trust him, realized that keeping her in the dark was about protecting her and keeping her happy. So he'd lost his faith in her as well and work had provided a nice distraction.

Now he was sitting in a parking lot, finally comprehending what they'd lost. He felt bad for Jade. The kid had been someone he adored. Even as she grew up to a big girl of nearly eight, she'd never stopped trying to please him, begging for time, asking for a story, requesting her good night kiss. This was so screwed up. He slammed the car door and popped the trunk. Maybe they'd married too young. They had only been 22 and fresh out of college. Their lives had changed. He checked in at the front desk. There was no going back now, no repairing the damage both had inflicted. He inserted his room key into the door.

* * *

Shannon took Jade's hand, "Daddy's gone baby". He had put Jade to bed and left without a word.

"He, he just left?" Jade asks, "without even saying goodbye?" she's incredulous.

"You aren't going to leave too, are you?" Jade whispers biting her lip.

Shannon gathers Jade into her arms and sits down on the couch, "No sweet girl. I'm not going anywhere. I'll never ever leave you".

"Promise?" Jade asks sleepily, curling into her.

Shannon covers them with a blanket, "I promise".

Jade's still staring up at her wide-eyed.

"I promise I will always be here for you Jade. You know why?"

Jade shrugs her little shoulders and smooths down her uncomfortable party dress.

"Because I love you more than all the stars in the sky, all the fish in the sea, all the sand grains on beaches, all the raindrops that fall," she whispers as Jade's eyes start to slip shut.

"I love you more than numbers can count, more than words can say, more than my very next breath," she continues as Jade's eyelids flutter.

"And I'll love you until the ocean runs dry, the stars stop shinning, and the sun drops out of the sky".

Jade has fallen asleep and Shannon doesn't have the will nor the heart to move her. Instead she shifts slightly so they are both laying down on the couch.

"I love you so much Jade," she says pressing a kiss to her forehead. When they wake up, their world will still be shattered, but for now, in this perfect moment of bliss, that doesn't really matter.

* * *

"**But in the real world, you couldn't really just split a family down the middle, mom on one side, dad the other, with the child equally divided between. It was like when you ripped a piece of paper into ****two: no matter how you tried, the seams never fit exactly right again. It was what you couldn't see, those tiniest of pieces, that were lost in the severing, and their absence kept everything from being complete." ― Sarah Dessen**

* * *

**A/N: So the quote's at the end this time to avoid spoiling the chapter. Sometimes I find them after I've written it, sometimes before. Sorry, it's been a while. Finals and end of school stuff has kept me busy. As always, please let me know what you thought. Your opinions are very valuable to me. (Can you catch all thing things Jade also hates on the show?)**


	5. Can You Think of a Reason?

**Chapter 5: Can You Think of a Reason?**

When Jade woke up the next morning, she was alone on the couch. Jade untangled herself from the blanket and got up. She went up to her room and struggled to change out of her scratchy pink dress. The zipper was hard to reach and she yelled "mommy" several times but no one appeared. Finally Jade managed to twist enough to pull the zipper and wiggle the dress off. She tugs on black shorts and a dark blue top before hastily pulling her hair into a messy ponytail.

"Mommy," Jade yells stomping down the stairs, "Mom".

It takes her a while to find the note on the counter. Scrawled lettering proclaiming that her mother would be back soon and to make her own meal. Jade frowns. She drags a barstool from the island over to the counter. Then she climbs on top until she reaches the cereal boxes and pulls down Chex. She crawls across the counter and stands up again grabbing a bowl. Then Jade jumps down and takes a spoon out of the drawer. Milk from the fridge completes her adventure. She eats at the kitchen table alone and puts the dishes in the sink. The milk is back in the fridge but everything else is a mess.

Jade's upset and finally she gives in to calling Cat.

"Hi, hi," Cat answers brightly.

"Meet me at the park in 10 minutes," Jade demands, even though a few months ago she proclaimed they were too old to be playing pretend at some kiddy park.

"Why? Are we going to play princesses? Or maybe make a…" Cat babbles excitedly.

"10 minutes," Jade cuts her off, "Don't be late".

"Kay, kay," Cat agrees nodding her head even though Jade can't see her.

* * *

They gather under the shelter of the play structure's top tower. Jade has already snapped at the other kids who quickly cleared out to give them room.

"What are we going to do?" Cat asks, "I thought you said we were too big to play here anymore?"

"Too old," Jade gently corrects her, "Yeah but I couldn't think of any place better to meet".

"I know we can't go to my house cause of my brother and his 'special problems' but we always play at your house Jadey," Cat responds.

"I told you not to call me Jadey anymore. We aren't babies anymore Cat," Jade said with a scowl.

Tears started welling in Cat's eyes.

Jade sighed, "I didn't mean it Cat".

"Okay-dokey Jadey," Cat giggled back, all signs of tears gone.

Jade sat on the floor of the tower. It was hot. Cat joined her sitting criss-crossed.

Jade bites her lip and looks at Cat with tears in her eyes.

Suddenly Cat is acting seriously, which she can be on rare occasions.

"Whatever it is, it'll be okay Jade. We can figure it out," Cat whispers, spitting Jade's own words back at her.

Jade can remember being hunched under Cat's bed repeating the same words over and over as her parents yelled and Frankie had one of his 'episodes'.

"I don't think so," Jade finally says in a wavering voice, "They're getting a divorce".

Cat launches herself across the floor and into her arms giving her the tightest hug. Jade didn't think Cat was that strong. She had toppled over into the sidebars from the force.

"I love you Jadey. You're my bestest friend in the whole world. I won't ever leave," Cat promises vehemently.

And that's what breaks her. Sweet, ditsy Cat making the one promise she's longed to here from her parents for years. Jade dissolves into sobs in Cat's arms.

"Don't cry Jade," Cat panics.

"I'm sorry, I, I," Cat's never seen her cry before, not when she had been stung by a bee or fell playing tag and scraped up her whole knee.

"I'll get you Freezy Queen," Cat finally bribes continuing to stroke Jade's hair.

Jade lets out a dry laugh, "Thanks kitten".

"Let's go now," Cat says excitedly tugging on her hand.

"We'd need bikes," Jade tries to dissuade her, "and money".

Cat points to her white bike with pink tassels, "$20 is in the basket".

Jade groans and pushes Cat off her. She sits up and wipes her eyes.

"Fine," Jade gives in, sniffling.

"You look fine," Cat says smoothing down her hair and yanking her toward the stairs.

They go back to Jade's house to grab her bike and then ride to Freezy Queen.

Cat buys Jade a vanilla bean cone and red velvet for herself. They are sitting outside licking them and swinging their legs. Jade's happier than before, as long as she focuses on the flavor and not her memories of last night.

* * *

When Jade get home, her mom flips out. Apparently she came home a few hours ago and couldn't find her. Shannon got a hold of Cat's mom and learned that the girls had gone to meet up at the park. But she couldn't find them there either. She's screaming at her as Jade debates on how to play this. In the end she goes with honesty with a touch of acting.

"I'm sorry mom," Jade says cutting off her rampage.

"You left without my permission. Without telling me. Do you have any idea how worried I was?" Shannon yells.

"You left me alone. So I met up with Cat and told her about the, the," the word catches in her throat, "the divorce," she spits out, "And she took me to get ice cream".

She puts on a bit of a waterworks show and escapes with just a harsh warning.

Her mother refuses to let her out of her sight the rest of the day. So all afternoon and evening she's stuck with her. Shannon wants to watch movies and paint Jade's nails. She's horrified to admit that she's just watched all of last year's blockbusters, Spy Kids, Monsters Inc., Shrek, and finally Princess Diaries because she told her mom she "wasn't 5 years old". After that one she told her mom that she "was not Cat either". The high point of the afternoon was eating brownies that they'd made.

Her nails are now bright pink because her mom looked like she was about to cry otherwise. God, at least if her father was here she wouldn't need to be constantly on alert for a breakdown. They would have just mutually nodded to each other this morning and she wouldn't have seen him until dinner. Instead she spent all day with her mom.

* * *

It isn't until after dinner that she finally escapes up to her room. She's locked herself in the bathroom and is soaking her nails in nail polish remover to get rid of the pink polish. Once it's off, she's staring at herself in the mirror. Brown hair just past her shoulders, blue eyes that aren't really that special, and the same dark blue top as this morning with a stain from the brownie batter. She didn't look anything like the 3rd grader she'd be in a month.

She'd just got her class list this weekend and her parents were supposed to have sent out invitations to her party to everyone in her class. Her party was Friday on her actual birthday. So soon that they better have sent them out. Or maybe not, because then thankfully, no idiots who ended up in her class this year would show up. Cat and Andre already had their invites and she'd send Robbie's tomorrow because Cat had whined about it today.

Jade washes her hands so they don't smell like nail polish remover all night and walks into her bedroom.

She takes advantage of being alone for the first time all day and picks up her phone. She calls Andre first. Jade knows Cat can't keep a secret and would spill to him sooner or later. By now she's sealed off the emotions and can tell him without shedding a tear.

"It's been coming for a long time," she says realizing all the signs she had missed.

"I guess when they stopped saying 'I love you' to each other," she admitted, "that's when it really went downhill".

Dre's the only one she has talked to about this kind of stuff. His home life is crappy too. She's not supposed to say that word, but it fits. His grandma's slowly losing it and he tells her how afraid he is of what will happen if anyone finds out. He doesn't want to live with either of his older half-sisters or join his younger half-brother in foster care. His sisters were from his mom's side, just like his grandma. But they were busy as a nurse and businesswoman. His brother was his dad's and he barely ever saw him. So Andre was stuck trying to cover up his grandma's mistakes and lapses in sanity.

Cat's was messed up too but she didn't really realize it. Cat thought it was normal to hide under her bed and though Jade knew it wasn't healthy she didn't want to be the one to tell her that. Jade didn't want Cat to draw parallels between their parents' lives. She kind of figured Cat's parents were the type to stay together until she was all grown up and leaving the house anyway. Lucky her.

"Jade?" Andre says for the 2nd time.

"Yeah," she finally answers breaking out of her thoughts, "what?"

"That really sucks Jade," he says softly.

Jade just nods.

"Are you okay J?" Andre asks.

"Yeah," she answers with a sigh. She's honestly not that sad anymore, just disappointed maybe.

"I just can't believe how messed up our lives are," she murmurs.

"So crazy," Andre answers.

"I wish we knew why. It's not fair," Jade hisses.

Andre doesn't know what to say. He has no answers.

"And I'll see you tomorrow?" he prompts her instead.

"Yep," Jade answers rolling her eyes, "good ole summer camp, can't miss that".

"Are you," Andre begins only to pause.

Jade can hear him yelling in the background catching snippets like "grandma" "no" and "mirror".

"I got to go," he finally yells into the phone, "Call me if you need to talk".

"I'm fine," she snaps back irritated, "err thanks Dre. Bye," she awkwardly tries to apologize.

She'll see him tomorrow. They're both in a fine arts camp with Cat that meets Tuesday and Thursday. They are all in the music track but she'd love to try acting next year.

Jade picks up the phone again. Her fingers are trembling as she presses out the next number. She's had his number memorized since she was six.

"Dad?" she says hesitantly.

"I was just calling to say good night. You don't need to call back or anything. Sorry for maybe bothering you. I probably shouldn't have called. I just wanted to say 'night and I love you. I," she pauses and then hangs up.

* * *

"Hey monkey, did I hear you talking to someone?" Shannon asks poking her head in.

"Just Andre, Mom," she answers quickly.

"I think I'm going to go to bed now," she rambles hiding her hands behind her back.

Shannon beckons her over and pulls her hand out.

"Couldn't even keep it on a whole day huh?" she teases kissing Jade's cheek.

Jade wipes it off and gives her a small smile.

"Today was fun. Huh, kiddo?" Shannon says.

"Yeahhhh," Jade drags out, parts were fun, brownies and making fun of the movies, ice cream with Cat so she wasn't totally lying.

Jade changes into her pajamas and climbs into bed.

"You still want to go to camp tomorrow?" Shannon asks tucking her in.

"Yes," she answers immediately eager to escape their house and see her friends.

Shannon nods. Jade can tell that's not the answer she wanted and nearly takes it back.

"You can read for 15 minutes then go to sleep," Shannon says flicking on the bedside lamp.

Jade grabs a book and waves her out.

When her mom's gone though, she doesn't start to read.

She just curls up missing her good night kiss from Daddy, missing having a whole family, broken but good, and everything about having a dad living at home.

"Jade," her mom whispers into the darkness of her room.

Jade decides to ignore her.

"I just put her to bed, sorry Jack I think she's asleep," Shannon says starting to close the door.

"Wait," Jade shrieks as the light starts to disappear, "Daddy".

Shannon flips on the light.

"Here," she says handing her the phone and looking slightly hurt.

Jade crawls on her knees to the end of the bed and cradles the phone against her ear.

"Sorry I missed your call princess," he says, "I'm just calling to say good night".

Jade's so delighted, her smile's splitting her face.

"Hi daddy," she pauses. He hasn't asked about her day and she won't be asking about his either but if she doesn't say something he'll hang up.

"Ummm, good night too," she finally says.

Jack pauses working up to saying what he rarely told her even at home.

"I love you Jadelyn," he finally manages.

"I love you too Daddy," she chokes out before clicking off the phone.

"I miss Daddy," Jade whimpers.

Shannon picks her up and settles her back into bed.

"I know," she coos, "But it's bedtime. Go to sleep and you'll go to camp in the morning. I love you Jade".

Jade sighs, "Love you".

Shannon gets up and leaves.

Jade is so cross. She hates this new life. She scrambles out of bed and turns on her lamp. Jade grabs her toy hammer. It's the best present her dad has even gotten her.

Jade got it for her 7th birthday when her dad was still wishing she were a boy. She'd gotten a whole tool set. It was plastic, of course, but her mom had still fought about how not only was it a boy toy but it wasn't even something Jade liked. Jade had stolen the hammer from the toolbox before her mom had donated the rest to Goodwill. She loves the dumb hammer.

Jade grabs it and slammed it hard against a few of her stuffed animals. She is mad beyond belief. Then she swings it against her new doll hard.

"Stupid Lindsey," she hisses in annoyance, working out her anger on her new doll.

When Jade is breathing hard and no longer quite as angry she slips back into bed and turns off the light. She yawns and thinks of singing with Cat tomorrow while Andre plays the piano as she falls asleep.

**If you can think of a reason; any reason at all why the universe is so screwed up and random and mean; now would be an amazingly good time to tell me because I really need some answers. –Meredith, Grey's Anatomy**

* * *

**A/N: Not especially fond of this one, it was hard to write but I hope you liked it. Let me know what you think. And... Jade meets Beck in the next chapter.**


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